Forgiveness has come to mind a lot lately. And you have, too.

Before things went so badly, I was mildly obsessed with you.  You were an enigma. Mysterious. Slightly angry but SO vulnerable (a particularly potent combination). I loved those things about you.

But things went so wretchedly poorly. And at the time, the only thing I wanted was for you to suffer. Which is about the least flattering thing I could say. But it's honest. You hurt my feelings and my reaction was especially playground. You hurt me, so I wanted to hurt you.

I heard, though, from a friend that you think I hate you.

Nothing could be farther from the truth.

Honestly.

I worry about you. I hope that you're okay. And while my child-self wants you to hurt, my adult self just wants you to be okay. To find your people. To find a home. And to be happy.

So let's retire the child, shall we? Let's all move forward and acknowledge that what happened before was a lousy mess. Nothing more to it than that.

I loved you once. As a human, I love you still. I hope you find beauty and grace. I hope you find a home.

I miss you. But not enough to journey down that path again. Farewell, friend. And safe travels to you, sir.